FUNNIES

[adreannaTal{fb}]

[shadow=ORANGE,left,300][glow=red,2,300]FIRE FIGHTER[/glow][/shadow]

*Fire fighter gets married,, tells his lovely new bride that firefighters have codes for everything.. She looks on with intrest and asks what for.

*He goes.. Well like when I get home and yell out Code 1 I want you to drop what ever you are doing and run to the bedroom.. she nods.. Code 2 means I want you to get undressed and into bed.. she nods again..

*Code 3 means I want you to play with yourself and make yourself ready for me to come make love to you.. she grinned
**So a day later the firefighter comes home and as he opens the door He shouts out "code 1" the bride stops and runs up the steps towards the bedroom..

*He shouts "Code2" she giggles and rips her clothes from her body and dives into bed..

*As he heads up the steps He goes Code 3.. so she starts toying with herself and getting wet.. he arrives and starts doing her hard and fast and in the middle of it she calls out CODE 4..
He stops and goes whats code 4? she says "more hose"

[adreannaTal{fb}]

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''
(NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?)

[adreannaTal{fb}]

[shadow=white,left,300]LEARNING TO CUSS[/shadow]

A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 Year-old nods his head in approval. The 6 year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast,I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass.'

The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts,"You can stay in there until I let you out."

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios.